How to nail the subject line in your pitch
Ah, the dreaded headline. When we have a story idea we want to pitch, it’s often the headline (or subject line - both can be used interchangeably here) that holds us back. We wonder how to encapsulate the story in a few short words, in a way that best sums up the point of the piece.
If it makes you feel any better, this is a challenge that even us journalists all must face. In fact, when writing my Forbes column, or any other piece for that matter, it’s not uncommon for me to spend at least half an hour mulling over the right words, trying to capture the essence of what I want to say.
What I know for sure is that this is time well spent - particularly during the pitching process.
That’s why I spoke to a journalist colleague of mine, Jess Evans, to get her thoughts on exactly what a good headline/ subject lines requires.
Here’s what she had to say.
A Little Something on Headlines - Jess Evans
A lot of power lies within the headline - in some cases, it can be the difference of whether you land the feature or not. If you get the headline right, you’re half way there - it's the cheat's way to bagging the feature.
If the body of your pitch is strong but your headline is not, it means two things:
- The journalist didn’t even get as far as reading your first sentence of your pitch, as they saw the headline and it didn’t grab them
- The journalist did read your pitch, but already had the headline in mind which may have diluted the brilliant idea you had
A few basic headline dos and don'ts:
DO accept the headline will probably change throughout the editorial and subbing process. At this stage, the headline’s job in the pitch is to capture the journalist. It’s not the final headline that will go ahead in the piece, so you can afford to go BIG.
DO take yourself out of the equation and think, would I click/stop on this story if I saw the headline?
DON’T play it safe. The best headlines are the ones that grab us - that’s the job of a headline. Now is not the time to sit on the fence, rehash headlines you’ve seen out there before or write a soft headline. Give your story the drama it deserves.
DO keep it simple. A headline should be nine words or less. Not flowery or one which shows off your beautiful prose. It should be direct and without fuss or frills.
DO think like a journalist. And by that, I mean, think, could this journalist imagine/predict this getting a lot of attention, clicks and shares on social media? I’m no fan of clickbait and hits are really not everything, but it’s helpful to remember that these journalists are forever reaching for great circulation and numbers, so if they see a really different and wonderful headline that is going to intrigue people, providing it’s on brand for them and has integrity, they will want it. After all, their bosses are running a business and clicks = money.
DO use simple language. Now is not the time to bust out fancy phrases and words. When using words that are unknown by the majority of people, readers will switch off. I’m not encouraging bland and uninspiring language, but instead, stick with words that are simple and powerful. The biggest mishap people make with their headlines is trying to sound more clever. Simple language is best.
DO put your headline in the ‘subject’ line of the email. It should read: Pitch: xxxx Whatever your chosen headline is xxxxx
DON’T be afraid to be controversial. If journalism is good, it’s controversial by nature, so don’t shy away from making a statement. If you’re introducing a shock factor into your headline, this will instantly grab the journalist’s attention. With opinion pieces, don’t be afraid to be divisive.
DO look at what type of headlines the publication you’re pitching to appreciates - are they typically funny/serious/short/wordy/edgy/dry etc?
DO go for the possible strongest angle of your story idea. Get creative and go big.
DO remember that the headline is just as important as your pitch, so do put thought and love into it, just the way you would do with a pitch.
DO get a ‘trending’ word in there if you can. If there’s a new dating trend out there and you’re writing a piece on relationships and dating, then try and get that very word into the headline - editors think SEO and keywords.
DON’T copy other headlines you’ve seen, or even similar ones - journalists love different pitches, so constantly be thinking, ‘what’s different about my headline and my idea?’ Break new editorial ground and take your headlines to dizzy heights.
DO ask a strange or funny question. Questions can make great headlines. It can leave journalists and readers alike wanting more. Questions appeal to readers emotions like few other headlines can.
